Ты не слушаешь. Что мы упускаем, разучившись слушать, и как это исправить - Кейт Мёрфи

52 …ни одной гласной буквы в своей фамилии – Studs Terkel, Talking to Myself: A Memoir of My Times (New York: Pantheon Books, 1977), 32.

53 … невнимательные слушатели запоминали меньше информации из разговора – Monisha Pasupathi and Jacob Billitteri, “Being and Becoming Through Being Heard: Listener Effects on Stories and Selves,” International Journal of Listening 29, no. 2 (2015): 67– 84, https://doi.org/10.1080/10904018. 2015. 1029363; Monisha Pasupathi, Lisa M. Stallworth, and Kyle Murdoch, “How What We Tell Becomes What We Know: Listener Effects on Speakers’ Long–Term Memory for Events,” Discourse Processes 26, no. 1 (1998): 1–25, https://doi. org/10.1080/01638539809545035; Monisha Pasupathi and B. Rich, “Inattentive Listening Undermines Self-Verification in Personal Storytelling,” Journal of Personality 73, no. 4 (2005), https://doi.org/10. 1111/ j.1467–6494. 2005. 00338.x.

54 Вы можете завести больше друзей за два месяца… – Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People, rev. ed. (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1981), 44.

55 …он по большей части вел уединенный образ жизни – Robert D. McFadden, “Ingvar Kamprad, Founder of IKEA and Creator of a Global Empire, Dies at 91,” New York Times, January 28, 2018, https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/28/obituaries/ingvar-kamprad-dies.html.

56 Я считаю своей задачей оказывать услуги как можно большему числу людей… – Richard Heller, “The Billionaire Next Door,” Forbes, August 7, 2000, https://www.forbes.com/global/2000/0807/0315036a.html#c9f65ef4b69d.

57 …вы заранее знаете, куда повернет разговор – Todd B. Kashdan, Ryne A. Sherman, Jessica Yarbro, and David C. Funder, “How Are Curious People Viewed and How Do They Behave in Social Situations? From the Perspectives of Self, Friends, Parents, and Unacquainted Observers,” Journal of Personality 81, no. 2 (2012), https://doi.org/10.1111/j. 1467–6494. 2012. 00796.x.

58 …с участием сотен пассажиров поездов и автобусов – Nicholas Epley and Juliana Schroeder, “Mistakenly Seeking Solitude,” Journal of Experimental Psychology 143, no. 5 (2014): 1980– 1999, http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/a0037323.

59 Благодаря выбросу «гормона удовольствия» – Colin G. DeYoung, “The Neuromodulator of Exploration: A Unifying Theory of the Role of Dopamine in Personality,” Frontiers in Human Neuroscience 7, no. 762 (2013), https://doi.org/10. 3389/fnhum. 2013. 00762.

60 …пакистанского физика-ядерщика – Robert L. Grenier, 88 Days to Kandahar: A CIA Diary (New York: Simon & Schuster, 2015), 175.

Глава 4. Я знаю, что ты собираешься сказать: предпосылки как затычки для ушей

61 …в спасении практически безнадежных брачных отношений – Laurie Abraham, The Husbands and Wives Club: A Year in the Life of a Couples Therapy Group (New York: Touchstone, 2013).

62 …исследователями из колледжа Уильямс… – Kenneth Savitsky, Boaz Keysar, Nicholas Epley, Travis Carter, and Ashley Swanson, “The Closeness– Communication Bias: Increased Egocentrism Among Friends Versus Strangers,” Journal of Experimental Social Psychology 47, no. 1 (2011): 269–273, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2010.09.005.

63 Французский писатель Андре Моруа – André Maurois, Memoirs 1885– 1967 (London: Bodley Head, 1970), 218.

64 Ученый известен тем, что ввел термин «число Данбара»… – R. I. M. Dunbar, “Neocortex Size as a Constraint on Group Size in Primates,” Journal of Human Evolution 22, no. 6 (1992): 469–493, https://doi.org/10.1016/0047-2484(92)90081-J.

65 …иерархические «уровни дружбы» – Kate Murphy, “Do Your Friends Actually Like You?,” New York Times, August 6, 2016, https://www.nytimes.com/2016/08/07/opinion/sunday/do-your– friends-actually-like-you.html.

66 В доскональном исследовании – Mario Luis Small, Someone to Talk To (New York: Oxford University Press, 2017).

67 …предвзятость подтверждения — Raymond Nickerson, “Confirmation Bias: A Ubiquitous Phenomenon in Many Guises,” Review of General Psychology 2, no. 2 (1998): 175– 220, https://doi.org/10.1037/1089–2680.2.2.175.

68 …предвзятость ожиданий — María Ruz, Anna Moser, and Kristin Webster, “Social Expectations Bias Decision–Making in Uncertain Inter–Personal Situations,” PLOS One 6, no. 2 (2011): e15762, https://doi.org/10.1371/journal. pone. 0015762; Elisha Y. Babad, “Expectancy Bias in Scoring as a Function of Ability and Ethnic Labels,” Psychological Reports 46, no. 2 (1980): 625–626, https://doi.org/10.2466/pr0. 1980. 46.2.625.

69 …могут быть широкими стереотипами – Perry Hinton, “Implicit Stereotypes and the Predictive Brain: Cognition and Culture in ‘Biased’ Person Perception,” Palgrave Communications 3, no. 17086 (2017), https://doi.org/10.1057/palcomms.2017.86.

70 …все мы имеем те или иные предубеждения – David Hamilton and Tina Trolier, “Stereotypes and Stereotyping: An Overview of the Cognitive Approach,” in Prejudice, Discrimination, and Racism, ed. J. F. Dovidio and S. L. Gaertner (San Diego: Academic Press, 1986), 127–163.

71 …к теории социальных сигналов – Brian L. Connelly, S. Trevis Certo, and R. Duane Ireland, “Signaling Theory: A Review and Assessment,” Journal of Management 37, no. 1 (2010): 39– 67, https://doi.org/10.1177/0149206310388419; Lee Cronk, “The Application of Animal Signaling Theory to Human Phenomena: Some Thoughts and Clarifications,” Social Science Information 44, no. 4 (December 1, 2005): 603–620, https://doi.org/10.1177/0539018405058203.

72 …теории социальной идентичности – Jonah Berger and Chip Heath, “Who Drives Divergence? Identity Signaling, Outgroup Dissimilarity, and the Abandonment of Cultural Tastes,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 95, no. 3 (2008): 593– 607, http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0022–3514.95.3.593; Naomi Ellemers and S. Alexander Haslam, “Social Identity Theory,” in Handbook of Theories of Social Psychology, vol. 2, ed. Paul Van Lange, Arie Kruglanski, and Tory Higgins (Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage, 2012), 379–398; Henri Tajfel, “Social Identity and Intergroup Behaviour,” Social Science Information 13, no. 2 (1974): 65– 93, https://doi.org/10. 1177/053901847401300204.

73 …качество одежды – Rob Nelissen and Marijn Meijers, “Social Benefits of Luxury Brands as Costly Signals of Wealth and Status,” Evolution and Human Behavior 32, no. 5 (2011): 343–355.

74 …со временем начали терять приверженцев – Allen Downey, “The U.S. Is Retreating from Religion,” Observations (blog), Scientific American, October 20, 2017, https://blogs. scientificamerican. com/observations/the–u–s–is–retreating–from–religion.

75 …как нельзя лучше подходят для этого – Danah Boyd and Nicole Ellison, “Social Network Sites: Definition, History, and Scholarship,” Journal of Computer– Mediated Communication 13, no. 1 (2007): 210–230, https://doi.org/10.1111/j. 1083– 6101. 2007. 00393.x.

76 …сигнализируете о своих взглядах и ценностях – Cliff Lampe, Nicole Ellison, and Charles Steinfield, “A Familiar Face(book): Profile Elements as Signals in an Online Social Network,” Proceedings of the SIGCHI Conference on Human Factors in Computing Systems, San Jose, CA (2007):