Ты не слушаешь. Что мы упускаем, разучившись слушать, и как это исправить - Кейт Мёрфи

77 …люди не спешат называть свои фамилии новым знакомым – Nicole Hong, “The New Dating No– No: Asking for a Last Name,” Wall Street Journal, January 24, 2018, https://www.wsj.com/articles/the–new–dating–no–no–asking–for–a–last–name–1516810482.

Глава 5. Атональная реакция: почему люди предпочитают говорить со своей собакой

78 …наглядную и взвешенную оценочную информацию – Graham Bodie, Kaitlin Cannava, and Andrea Vickery, “Supportive Communication and the Adequate Paraphrase,” Communication Research Reports 33, no. 2 (2016): 166–172, http://dx. doi.org/10.1080/08824096.2016.1154839.

79 Я слушаю слова, мысли, оттенки чувства и личный смысл – Carl Ransom Rogers, A Way of Being (New York: Houghton Mifflin, 1980), 8.

80 Человек всегда имеет две причины для того, что он делает – Fred Shapiro, The Yale Book of Quotations (New Haven, CT: Yale University Press, 2006), 537.

81 Я бы не сказал им ни слова – Bowling for Columbine, directed by Michael Moore (Beverly Hills, CA: United Artists 2002).

82 …чаще всего руководствуются жаждой возмездия – James Fox and Monica DeLateur, “Mass Shootings in America: Moving Beyond Newtown,” Homicide Studies 18, no. 1 (2014): 125–145, https://doi.org/10.1177/1088767913510297.

83 …общей чертой всех массовых убийц является глубокое отчуждение от общества – Alex Yablon, “What Do Most Mass Shooters Have in Common? It’s Not Politics, Violent Video Games or Occult Beliefs,” Chicago Tribune, September 18, 2017, https://www.chicagotribune.com/news/opinion/commentary/ct–perspec–mass–shootings–video–games–politics–0917–story.html.

84 Приятно познакомиться с вами – Steve Chawkins, “Dick Bass Dies at 85; Texas Oilman Was First to Scale ‘Seven Summits,’ ” Los Angeles Times, July 29, 2015, https://www.latimes. com/local/obituaries/la–me–0730–richard–bass–20150730–story. html; Roger Horchow and Sally Horchow, The Art of Friendship (New York: St. Martin’s Press, 2005), 33.

Глава 6. Говорить, как черепаха, слушать, как заяц: разница между речью и мышлением

85 Губы другого человека продолжали шевелиться, но вы ничего не слышали – Ralph Nichols and Leonard Stevens, Are You Listening? (New York: McGraw Hill, 1957), 82.

86 …разницей между речью и мышлением — Ralph Nichols and Leonard Stevens, “Listening to People,” Harvard Business Review, September 1957, https:// hbr . org / 1957 / 09 / listening – to – people; Clella Jaffe, Public Speaking: Concepts and Skills for a Diverse Society (Boston: Wadsworth Publishing, 2012), 58; Teri Kwal Gamble and Michael W. Gamble, Interpersonal Communication: Building Connections Together (Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage, 2014), 106.

87 …860 000 000 000 мозговых клеток – Frederico Azevedo, Ludmila Carvalho, Lea T. Grinberg, José Marcelo Farfel, Renata Ferretti, Renata Leite, Wilson Jacob Filho, et al., “Equal Numbers of Neuronal and Nonneuronal Cells Make the Human Brain an Isometrically Scaled–Up Primate Brain,” Journal of Comparative Neurology 513, no. 5 (2009): 532–541, https://doi.org/10.1002/cne. 21974.

88 …сильную тревогу и беспокойство – Alexander Penney, Victoria Miedema, and Dwight Mazmanian, “Intelligence and Emotional Disorders: Is the Worrying and Ruminating Mind a More Intelligent Mind?,” Personality and Individual Differences 74 (2015): 90–93, https://doi. org/10.1016/j. paid. 2014.10.005.

89 …особенно тяжелой задачей для них… – Adam S. McHugh, “For Introverts, Listening Is an Act of Inward Hospitality,” Introvert, Dear: For Introverts and Highly Sensitive People (blog), October 13, 2017, https://introvertdear. com/news/listen–introverts–inner–world/.

90 Правильное использование дополнительного времени на размышление… – Nichols and Stevens, “Listening to People.”

91 …становились более убедительными ораторами – “Listening Legend Interview, Dr. Ralph Nichols,” Listening Post, summer 2003, https:// www.listen.org/Legend–Interview.

92 …большинство людей упускает из виду половину услышанного – Nichols and Stevens, “Listening to People.”

93 …психология личности гласит… – Heinz Kohut, Self Psychology and the Humanities: Reflections on a New Psychoanalytic Approach, ed. Charles Strozier (New York: W. W. Norton, 1980).

94 …ведут неловкий разговор на крыше… – Annie Hall, directed by Woody Allen (Hollywood, CA: United Artists, 1977).

Глава 7. Слушать противоположные мнения: почему это равносильно бегству от медведя

95 …с твердыми политическими убеждениями – Jonas T. Kaplan, Sarah I. Gimbel, and Sam Harris, “Neural Correlates of Maintaining One’s Political Beliefs in the Face of Counterevidence,” Scientific Reports 6, no. 39589 (2016), https://doi.org/10. 1038/srep39589.

96 …вызывает у них ощущение угрозы – “Free Speech Advocate on the State of College Campuses,” Steve Inskeep interview with Greg Lukianoff, Morning Edition, NPR, May 29, 2017, https://www.npr.org/2017/05/29/530555442/free–speech–advocate–on–the–state–of–college–campuses; Conor Friedersdorf, “Middlebury Reckons with a Protest Gone Wrong,” Atlantic, March 6, 2017, https://www. theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2017/03/middleburys–liberals–respond–to–an–protest–gone–wrong/518652/.

97 Согласно общенациональному исследованию студентов колледжей и университетов… – John Villasenor, “Views Among College Students Regarding the First Amendment: Results from a New Survey,” Fixgov (blog) Brookings Institution,

September 18, 2017, https://www.brookings.edu/blog/fixgov/2017/09/18/views–among–college–students–regarding–the–first–amendment–results–from–a–new–survey/.

98 …называют их идеи «опасными» – Richard Felton, “Ted Cruz: Democratic Candidates Are a ‘Dangerous Socialist . . . and Bernie Sanders,’ ” Guardian, September 19, 2015, https://www.theguardian.com/us–news/2015/sep/19/ted–cruz–hillary–clinton– mackinac–republican–leadership–conference.

99 После особенно ожесточенных дебатов – Charles Gibson, “Restoring Comity to Congress,” Harvard University Shorenstein Center Discussion Paper Series, January 2011, https://shorensteincenter.org/wp–content/uploads/2012/03/d60 gibson. pdf.

100 Это политика, старина… – Olivia Newman, Liberalism in Practice: The Psychology and Pedagogy of Public Reason (Cambridge, MA: MIT Press, 2015), 98.

101 …принять важнейший закон о социальном обеспечении – “Social Security: Compromise at Long Last,” New York Times, January 20, 1983, https://www.nytimes.com/1983/01/20/us/social–security–compromise–at–long–last. html.

102 …написал Маккейн в статье… – John McCain, “It’s Time Congress Returns to Regular Order,” Washington Post, August 31, 2017, https://www. washingtonpost. com/opinions/john–mccain–its–time–congress–returns–to–regular–order/2017/08/31/f62a3e0c–8cfb–11e7–8df5–c2e5cf46c1e2 story. html.

103 …в бесславном инциденте с «переговорным жезлом»… – Avery Anapol, “Senator Using ‘Talking Stick’ Breaks Collins’ Glass Elephant During Shutdown Talks,” The Hill, January 22, 2018, https://thehill.com/homenews/senate/370163–unnamed–senator–throws–talking–stick–breaks–collins–glass–elephant–during.

104 …так называемых альтернативных фактов… – “Conway: Press Secretary Gave ‘Alternative Facts,’ ” Meet the Press, NBC video, 3:39, January 22, 2017, https://www.nbcnews. com/meet–the–press/video/conway–press–secretary–gave– alternative–facts–860142147643. Donald Trump famously said “Donald Trump: ‘My Primary Consultant Is Myself,’ ” YouTube video, 3:11, posted by MSNBC, March 16, 2016, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7CBp8lQ6ro.

105 …но и боятся их – “Partisanship and Political Animosity in 2016,” Pew Research Center, June 22, 2016, http://assets. pewresearch.org/wp–content/uploads/sites/5/2016/06/06–22–16–Partisanship–and–animosity–release. pdf. stopped talking to a friend Jeremy